Please, indulge me – directly below this text should be a media player (or a link to an MP3 file). Please play it as you read. More on this song in the body of the post below.
I have always been a person of many projects, sometimes so many that several never get done (my 65′ ford truck restore, the skirting on the shed, the half-written songs in my notebook). I never thought of myself as a “busy” person, but I learned from a conversation with a Christian counselor friend that I was wrong (grin). I thought recreation was my remedy to the busyness, but it can be just busyness in another form. I realized that I am somewhat of a control freak. I use my OCD as a an excuse to let this appetite for control flourish. Being busy is my way of controlling my life.
Being a pastor is challenging, but most of it works with the way I am wired. The hardest part of being a pastor is dealing with all the pain and suffering that people go through. Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE to pray for my friends at Thrive Church (and elsewhere). I WANT to be a part of their suffering – to walk it with them in a healthy way.
The difficulty comes in from the back door – control. See, sometimes I get really infuriated with God’s timing. I hate that some people are enduring so much for so long. I want to get in there and help them. I want to do what I can do to fix their situation. I want to rescue them. “Get on the ball, God – geez!”
10 “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
(Psalm 46:10)
This verse is part of a song of encouragement to people who are in dark times. If you read Psalm 46:1-11 close enough, you’ll catch a glimpse of the darkness, but it is so well-hidden by the encouraging message – a peaceful message. What is this jewel of peaceful encouragement?
“I’m God. Be still. Let me handle it. I got this.”
Sigh. OK, Lord. I’m taking my hands off.
The song you are listening to (hopefully) was written, arranged, and recorded by me (using Apple’s Garage Band) yesterday, on a lazy Sunday, as I purposefully set out to be still. When my soul quieted, a prayer without words burst forth in my heart. Massaging this piece was so therapeutic. I know it’s not a perfect recording, but I hope it speaks the unspeakable peace of God to your spirit.
Control? What is that? Yeah, I have the same tendencies. I like things ordered and neat, manageable. It doesn’t take too long for life to happen and knock the air out of that (especially, like you say, when standing with people as a pastor).
I love the song, felt the peace… I need more stillness. Thanks.
Glad you liked it. I think church planters have to have a bit of that “do it myself” attitude, we just have to learn to temper it with the knowledge of God’s power.
Love the music!
Taking moments of stillness to wallow in God is crucial. It is there where we are restored and refreshed.
Thank you for sharing this moment of stillness.
Glad you liked it, Dusty.
I love this brother! This really blessed me. Sometimes we often try to do things on our own, and never stop to realize that God has it all under control, but instead we try to be in control of our own circumstances. I am sometimes guilty of that. We do have to be still and let God…. God is our only peace in life. I really love the song, it’s very peaceful.
thanks
Understanding that God is the main ‘handler’ of situations is to live in paradise.
I want to live in paradise
The music just blessed me, thanks. I imagine the Lord enjoying this piece of extraordinary glory-music and the angels dancing around. Wow, that is what this music does to me.
I love your post.
Worshipping Him in the stilness.
wow, thanks, Ani.
The song is amazing. Seriously, it is. I think control is an issue with most type A personalities, myself included. Thank you.
Thanks, Michael.
I don’t like to wait and I don’t like to relinquish control but i also know that if I am to have any meaning in this life I must. Good post Herb. Liked the song too. Putting me to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
too peaceful? hehe
And I’m back again. Listening to the music.
Ani – I’m glad you came back to listen, but if you right click on this and you should be able to save the song to your hard-drive.
“The hardest part of being a pastor is dealing with all the pain and suffering that people go through.”
Yep, I would have to agree …
Wow. All I can say is “wow.” Thank goodness that the Lord has “got this.” Otherwise I would have a lot more trouble enduring this time. I have been meaning to read this since you posted it, but it was meant to be read tonight and the song meant to be heard tonight, in my dark little living room, in the stillness, to combat the mind-weariness.
I am thankful for God’s timing.